Sunday, July 12, 2009


Running Away From It All…
I have threatened to run away to the hills where I would have a garden and a farm. I would not have to pay for electricity, water, or any other "overhead" because I would have well water and kerosene lanterns. My family and I would have all day to harvest the garden and tend to the cows and chickens; this is how I would feed my family. Of course, every now and then we have to find a way to pay for things like sugar, coffee, and keronsene for our lanterns.

Now that I have jumped back to reality, I know I would NOT be truly happy living like The Little House on the Prairie. The truth is the world is the way it is. Technology is here to stay, and we all have to work for provisions that used to be free; like water. Our world is not like the old days; things have become simpler, faster, and more attainable; yet life is more complicated. Unfortunately, those things are far from free.

There is no denying that almost everyone is looking for ways to spend less money. Especially with the economy the way it is, everyone, including the wealthy, is cutting back on something. The amount of "wealth" a person has to start with determines what category of "cheapskate" a person falls in. So, what is the need in today's times? Aren't we all looking for a better, less complicated way of doing things?

Money Answers Everything
We all need money to do practically everything; my life would be better in some ways with more money. I feel that I have learned some very important lessons concerning finances; therefore, I must guard every penny with my life. Learning how to be greedy with money. We all work hard for it, so why not give away as little as possible?

Aren't we all guilty of spending money because it's easier to eat out rather than prepare a meal at home? First, you have to buy the food and cook the food, and then the mess has to be cleaned up after eating. Of course, we could all hire servants, maids and butlers. Now there's a thought!

Learn to dream.
If people don't learn to live within their means and be happy about it, they will never be anything more than what they are now. Consider it a test. Maybe their current situation is fine with them. If not, where do they want to be? Sure, they may have nice things, and they may travel, but there's always more. Anything they desire is within their reach if they truly want it. They may have to work harder to get there, and they may get lucky and have it handed to them. How well they handle money, or whatever has been handed to them will determine how long they keep it or how much it will grow.

Think of it like this: If you shoot for the moon, you may just reach the stars. But if you only shoot for the stars, you may only reach the clouds.

If you owe then you’re in debt.
What I’m talking about is paying for most of what you have with some sort of credit. Good for you if you have good or excellent credit. But, if you really think about it, that “thing” that you’re paying for is not truly yours until it’s paid off. What if you lost your job tomorrow? Would you be able to make those payments? Probably not.

I realize there are some situations where credit is necessary. Know the difference and be honest with yourself.

Save, save, save.
If you’re not saving money, you should start. Start out small! It's like riding up a hill, once you get to the top you must start down the bottom, where your goal actually is. Of course, you could spend all your life trying to climb or you could spend your life sitting at the peak of the mountain. If you choose to keep going, you finally pick up speed as you get closer to your destination. Double time, then triple time, then it will happen so fast you can't keep up. And when you get there, it's easy street. Nice, flat ground, no more climbing!

The Plan
What if I had started this plan when I was 20 years old? Look at how much farther ahead I would be. And can you imagine how much more I would actually have to work with. I would probably have my money market account, which would be doubling every year by now. Five thousand would be 10 thousand, which would be 20 thousand and so on.

Obviously, I didn’t start early, so now I have to work harder. It's going to take more sacrifices now than when I was 20!

I have made financial mistakes in the past, and I continue to make mistakes. Therefore, I am far from perfect. However, I have learned a few things from my mistakes; thank goodness it’s not too late.

Thanks for reading.
If you haven't already done so, be sure to follow me for more tips and rants

Friday, July 10, 2009

Blog This

Why is it that I every time I lay down at night I think about things to blog about? I try to keep the ideas in my brain, but by morning, the good stuff is mostly lost. The last thing I want to do while I’m trying to rest is think. I certainly don’t want to take a notebook and pen to bed with me. Not only do I NOT want to think, but I don’t want to write by hand. I won't even start to complain about how bad carpal tunnel pain is when writing by hand. I probably wouldn't even be able to read what I wrote anyway.

I make everything more complicated than necessary, which is true in my blogging. I'll be honest, I'm having trouble getting this thing going.

What's slowing me down besides life in general? It’s just me, plain and simple. When faced with a problem, I know to look deep within myself to find answers to problems. I may not start out feeling that way, but that's where I usually end up.

I can’t say what my long term goal with blogging is because I honestly don’t know. Right now, I want to have fun with what I write, but most of all, I want to learn a few things along the way.

If you know me from Facebook, you may think I am a Facebook whore. Facebook is a great socializing tool, but can be a real time waster with the gazillion apps and other time wasters on there. To tell you the truth, it can be addicting.

I try not to be too annoying. I post links to videos, comment on other posts, and basically just socialize. On a side note, I don’t let everyone know about every thought I have or every time I use the bathroom. I post various things on Facebook to keep my "face" “fresh”.

I have the same avatar on every site I belong to. It may take awhile to get established this way, but it’s a start! You know the saying: You tell your friends and they will tell their friends and so on.

I have included Life Lessons as one of my links on Facebook. I have also listed it as my first link. I think most people are in a hurry, so if someone does check me out further, they are bound to just click on the first link and nothing more. So, I need to make it worth their while. The idea is, my friends will be so “taken in” that they will be compelled to read on. And, eventually, they will be addicted to my blog, which in turn, creates more followers.

Now, I know that there are other ways to attract readers (which I’m working on). But by the time this happens, I will have (hopefully) found a blogging style that really draws some curiosity which creates more followers for me. You see, I’m not too worried about that end yet, as I know I haven’t that much to offer anyone right now.

Eventually, I will have Twitter going to full capacity. Twitter, at first, seemed like another time waster to me. I saw that there was some sort of potential to be more than meets the eye, but I didn’t have anything of importance to offer there either. No emminent tornadoes to report or pedophile on the loose.

For the time, I am just going to use Twitter like I use Facebook. To drive traffic here, to my blog, by allowing people to get to know me.

Perhaps nighttime is the only time I can actually hear myself think. The time that I do have to blog is filled with interruptions and, to be honest, pure chaos.

I’ve become selfish with my “me” time. I force myself to do whatever I want for however long I want. That might mean something as simple as taking a really long bath or even blogging. You wouldn’t like me if I didn’t take that kind of time; I would even like myself.

Although, I can’t do everything I want, I have to choose what I want most at that moment, and usually sleep wins the vote. In order for me to have some quality time, I either have to get a babysitter (which I fortunately have whenever I need one) or I have to get up early or stay up late.

Finally, I have decided to look deep within myself and give you a side rarely seen (not even on Facebook). I have been struggling with what to write because I didn't think I had anything of value to offer. Do you really want to read the story of a boy, a golfball, a golfclub and a patio door? How about the guy who sings (badly) to himself as he rides his bicycle while picking up empty soda cans?? That may be what you get for now, until I can totally unleash that deeper side of me.

I've got a few things I'm working on right now, which will be revealed in bits and pieces over the next few months.

For those of you that are currently following me, show me some love and let me know what you think and thank you for hanging in there. Stick it out, I promise you will like what you're going to see. I am learning new things, so something good has to happen, right? And, for those of you just "lurking", follow me if you don't want to miss anything coming up.

More to come!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Time To Groove

Let's switch gears for a few. I've been on a negative kick lately. The economy sucks and my lack of income is not helping. I won't go into the details now- what I prefer to do is relax, think positive, and fill my head with happy thoughts.

I love music. The right music helps me relax; which is what I need to do very badly right now. No, don't feel sorry for me. I'm taking some time off. Fun, fun and more fun!

I started this day off with music, which is oddly soothing, yet motivating for me. When I say motivating, I'm not talking about inspiration. I'm talking about having the drive to avoid laziness.

I truly love bands or artists that can actually "re-make" an old favorite. To find a band that has performed a song as well, if not better than the original, is rare and difficult to do.

These next two songs are bad to the bone, in my opinion.

First, we have The Who with Behind Blue Eyes. It's not really the words in this song that capture me. It's the sound. The vocals.

Check it out, see what you think.

Cool, huh? Now, check out this next video with Limp Bizkit (Heard Break Stuff?) doing their version of the same song. The only thing this song has in common with The Who's version, is the lyrics. Whatever it is, I can't get enough of it. Check it out for yourself.

By the way, feel free to let me know what you think. And, be honest, I can take it. But if I were to guess, I'll bet you add them both to your playlist.

Be sure to check out my inspiration.

See you back here in a few days.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Just Get Over It!

Nobody really knew about the hell she had already been through, among a host of more hell, yet to come...

These things are what has shaped who she is today.

Some would let these demons rule; she found it best to set it all aside, stay absorbed in music and live as though nothing ever happened.

As if these "things" were voodoo, not a word was ever spoken. Didn't you realize that she was practically dead on the inside? Why didn't you stop the screaming long enough to realize this?

No matter, things find a way to surface in other ways.

Withdrawn, quiet, and almost unnoticed, the question was, "Is she shy?" Nobody realized she was hiding behind a wall she did not create.

A series of teenage rebellions led to more wrong turns. Should she blame her parents? Should she blame herself? Why was she in such a hurry to grow up?

Fast forward...

Adversity taught her to look within. Often, she asked herself questions like, "How am I responsible for this situation" and "What can I do to change this?"

She learned to break the chains that held her down for so long. Despite a thousand misfortunes and even more excuses, she knew she was the only one in control of her fate.

She is stronger now and can handle just about any trial or setback.

When life hands you lemons do you make lemonaid or drink tequila shots?

Life can be a party, if you allow it. You can stay buried under your past and all that you've been through or you can rise above and break free. You can step out of your bubble and do your own thing.

Do you have negativity holding you back? What are your fears? Are you afraid what people will think? Are you afraid of change? All you need are the tools, and only you can obtain them. It doesn't matter that "this is the way it is"; why does it have to stay that way?

Find your obstacle and knock it down! Quit living in the past, you never know what "might have been", so get over it!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

This May Be Your Last Day

Why do you wander mindlessly like a bunch of rodents? Wandering left, right, and back and forth again through the maze called life?

Forgotten dreams, wasted days...

Twenty years has literally faded away and much has happened. The road traveled was curvy, straight, then curvy, and now it is finally straight again. I may not have lived my dreams (yet), but I have learned the hard way where I need to go. Thankfully, my number wasn't drawn before I could make things right.

Not to say that I wasn't living or having a blast. I just got a little "sidetracked".

Will anyone remember me when I'm dead? Who will come to my funeral and what will they say about my life? Why do I ponder the end so much? Am I really on the top of the hill, headed over the hill? I feel I may be "half way there", so while I can still go to the bathroom on my own, feed myself, and function with only mild aches/pains I'm going to live my dreams.

Quit following someone else's footprints! Get up and make a change! Get up, get out and do whatever you want. Take a risk!! What are you waiting for? Who cares what everyone else thinks! Live like tomorrow is your last day ever...

See you at the top!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hispanic or not?

I would say I am at least 50% American Indian, 25% Spanish (not Mexican!), and the rest pure, Arkansas white. That being said, would I qualify as being a
Latina or Hispanic?
My real, born last name was Lopez. Call me CLo why don't you.

Why did I have a different name in school then? Let's just say I wanted to be part of my new family. My mom divorced my dad when I was very young and remarried a few years later. In an effort to "fit in" my mom and step-dad gave me the opportunity to use their much longer, weirder name for school purposes. My baby brother was gone (and had been for a few years) plus I had a new sister on the way. That being said, I would have been the only Lopez in the house. Sigh, divorce is extremely complicated!

Looking back, I wish I would not have made this choice! I am not even sure how (legally) I got away with using this name at school! Not to mention the added confusion, which I did not need. It's not like my future wasn't full of, yet, three more last names! We shall not go into that right now, hell, it's no wonder I have been struggling to find myself.

So back to my history. I suppose calling myself Latina or Hispanic would serve it's purposes for whatever fringe benefits might be out there for someone of that background.

Wouldn't it be kind of like someone who is half white, half negro? I mean, seriously, then would that person be black or white? There again, it depends on what that person would be trying to achieve. In reality, if being black affords more than being white, obviously, it would be smarter for someone to say they are black. In another situation, if it's better to be white that day, then white it is.

There is my dilemma. There are many forms that list choices for race, on which I always stop and think. Do I check the box that says
Technically, I am more American Indian than anything else, so do I check the box that says American Indian? It's not like I found my tribe and belong to it, afterall, doing so would really have tremendous benefits if I chose to seek it out. I look white, with the exception of brown hair and the ability to tan in the summer. And the muted freckles (which I hate, by the way). So, what gives? I could use any race selection to whatever extent necessary, but should I?

We shall see what happens. I recently enrolled at a university, and, yes, I checked Hispanic this time. I am not sure what good it will do. Maybe I will get first priority since the Hispanic community seems to be overtaking everything around here.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I don't get it

Let me start by saying I am tired of sugar coating things and have decided it's best if I just tell things like they are from now on.

There's this slutty person (I can't call her a lady because she is hardly that) who thinks she is the total sh*t. Actually, I think she might smell like sh*t, but that's beside the point. What she has is nothing spectacular it's just that she gives it freely; that is why she's in such "demand".

Which brings me to something else... If a piece of a** is literally everywhere, then why would ANY guy trade cigarettes for a blow job?

Ok, so I tend to get sidetracked. Where was I? Oh yeah, stinky, Greek, Ho.
This chick obviously cannot feel the cold wind blowing on her a** crack. It's not just a little crack showing, it's something like five inches. I swear it's big enough to set a soda can in. And, the reason I stare is because I can't help but wonder how long is that crack? I mean, that must be one long a** and there is nothing fancy about it, let me tell you. Her a** makes raw hamburger meat look attractive.

I guess it's just a great big advertisement saying "Hey! I'll suck you off for cigarettes!!" And she swings both ways, which means she will munch some carpet for meth, too.

You see, this is one ugly, nasty biotch. She drives a piece of sh*t car, lives in her mother's piece of sh*t apartment, dresses like a piece of sh*t, and has pieces of sh*t for friends. Come to think of it, that's putting it nicely-an actual piece of sh*t would be pi**ed for putting it in the same category.

Now, I have to go erase my memory and vomit because these thoughts are making me feel like blowing chunks.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's Not Gay

Wikipedia refers to gay (as a term) as "primarily to refer to feelings of being carefree, happy, or bright and showy..." Unless you're referring to homosexuality then the site says gay is "having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex.."

Simon Thorn of says It's Not Gay If...

1) If it's with a male prostitute - Then it was just a sincere gesture to the transient culture that is looking to reverse their low economic intake.

2) If you only do it to prove that it's totally NOT as much fun as the bathroom wall promised.

3) If it's with Tom Cruise - Then it's just a once in a lifetime opportunity which shouldn't be passed up.

4) It reduces you to tears - Then it was just a heartfelt block of "Me time."

5) If it helps you get another friend for your Facebook account.

6) If his ass is less hairy then your wife's.

7) If at any point.....Oh, who the hell are we kidding? That was truly gay.

Just thought I'd liven up your day. Now stop being so gay!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Goofing Off

With the majority of the children gone for the weekend, I needed to use my time wisely. How often do I get to do whatever I want? I mean, as a mom, I still know how to kick up my heels and go crazy. It's just not as often as I would like.

You see, even if I could, I would probably be too tired anyway. My "job" takes quite a bit out of me, so it's rare that I even desire to punish myself further by staying up way too late and drinking way too much.

I ended up doing a little of everything this time. Not only did I get to leave the house, I actually parked myself near some water (which I can't live without) and pretended nothing else mattered. You see, I don't enjoy fishing for the fish, I enjoy it because I can do nothing and relax. I am odd, but I have to be busy all the time. It's difficult for me to do "nothing". I enjoy seeing how much I can take on.

It's like this: If fish are caught, even better, but it's all about the music in the background, a drink in hand, sun in the sky and water as far as my eyes can see. It's as close as I can get to the beach without the salt and sand. While I refuse to swim in the lake (think things that bite in the water), I can still look at it. There's a calming effect for me. I am forced to zone in on the sounds around me and lose reality. Even if that sound is my husband being obnoxious.

You see, my days have had more than their share of going wild, including some things that are lost in a bottle of Jager (Meister, that is). If anyone knows anything about that, they know it makes people do things that are...well...out of control. What I'm trying to say is, I think I am getting too old for that life. At least I don't walk on the wild side as much as I used to. You just wait until I get a motorcycle. I won't need to bar hop to get a rush.

Besides, I have responsibilities, right? Sure, whatever!

When I got a bit bored staring at the calm water, I began snapping pics. The thing to keep in mind, is my camera sucks balls. I refuse to spend the money on the one I want until I fully learn what I'm doing. I figure, if I can take a good pic with a crappy camera, just think how much better an awesome camera would be.

I prefer non-people subjects, but I will snap a pic of just about anything for the hell of it.

I don't like the time stamp on these nor are my subjects centered the way I want. But here they are. I could critique myself all day long, but I will spare you. Besides, the photos give me the opportunity to goof off with my blog too.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Never again

You took advange of my weakness and my trust, all the while knowing the end result. Not that you really even knew anything about me.

You delighted as I put pen to paper; knowing my conscience was masked by inner demons. I blame you. You think you closed the door permanently.

Revenge is searching for you. It knows who you truly damaged. When it finds you, I hope it brings you to near death and rescusitates you repeatedly. Only then will you understand how others feel in your presence.

Even though I traded you for another set of problems, I applaude you. Thank you for the lesson. Thank you. The door has been re-opened and you will never close it again.

Now go do the world a favor and suffocate yourself. I won't waste my spit on your grave.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Bring on the tunes

If I don't have the radio on, music going on the computer, cd's playing in the car or my iPod stuck in my ear, I am probably dead.

I was raised around varied music and I was even a self-taught band fag once upon a time. Maybe music is in my blood-I have an ear for that plus I can read music. I am even teaching myself how to play the acoustic guitar. Singing not so much!

To say I have one favorite band, song, artist or otherwise would be untrue. There is no way I could narrow down to one with all the broad genres out there. Besides, it probably depends greatly on my mood. I might kick back with Tom Petty or party with Kid Rock.

I have to say, I am slightly disappointed by today's country sound. Most country music teeters on the edge of depressing, and I since I can only tolerate a miniscule percentage of the women performers in that spectrum, my choices are limited. Men (and lesbians perhaps) might enjoy the eye candy but I want something good to listen to, whether or not the girl is half-naked with a banging bod. Then again, it is sex that sells, right? This is not to say I am totally closing the door on country music. I actually like Diamond Rio, Montgomery Gentry, and of course, George Strait (to name a few). George could make a crappy song sound good plus he's been going strong for umpteen years now. And, to think, George doesn't have to be nearly naked to display his sex-appeal.

On a different spectrum, there's Metallica. Maybe it's their killer guitar riffs that relaxes me. I have to say I still have mixed views on their current music even though there are quite a few similarites between the old stuff and the new. At one point in time, Metallica even tried their hand at S&M (orchestral metal), compiling efforts with The San Francisco Symphony. You might have heard "The Ecstasy of Gold", the themesong to "The Good The Bad and The Ugly". Now that's heavy stuff right there.

Very few bands or artists have come back strong after a long hibernation. Anyone else think AC/DC seems to be coming back better than before? I have been wearing out one of their latest tracks, "Rock and Roll Train" and I've never even been a real big fan of AC/DC. About three songs into one of their CD's and I would normally have to hear something else. It's the "if you've heard one you've heard them all" kind of thing. I shall see if that still holds true.

The new and (supposed to be) improved GNR (Guns 'N Roses) is what would happen if Nickleback melted with Disturbed. It sounds slightly like GNR is trying to match some of the new rock sound. I mean, if you can really call the new stuff rock. Where's your soulful sound, Axle?

Speaking of Nickleback, toss in Hinder and it would be tough to differentiate between the two. Both would be better if they didn't sing so much. It's not the voice or the sound, but the lyrics and the non-stop singing that are a bit on the annoying side. Then again, that is how I feel about most of the new rock.

I wouldn't be a typical mom if I didn't shake my head about some of the rap or hip hop, or whatever you want to call it. The sound is good, especially in a club, but it's this type of music that a majority of our youth listens to and imitates. I look back at some of the music I listened to in High School and I think about the way I used to act. Did I really like all of that stuff? Now, if only people would pull their sagging pants up!