Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hispanic or not?

I would say I am at least 50% American Indian, 25% Spanish (not Mexican!), and the rest pure, Arkansas white. That being said, would I qualify as being a
Latina or Hispanic?
My real, born last name was Lopez. Call me CLo why don't you.

Why did I have a different name in school then? Let's just say I wanted to be part of my new family. My mom divorced my dad when I was very young and remarried a few years later. In an effort to "fit in" my mom and step-dad gave me the opportunity to use their much longer, weirder name for school purposes. My baby brother was gone (and had been for a few years) plus I had a new sister on the way. That being said, I would have been the only Lopez in the house. Sigh, divorce is extremely complicated!

Looking back, I wish I would not have made this choice! I am not even sure how (legally) I got away with using this name at school! Not to mention the added confusion, which I did not need. It's not like my future wasn't full of, yet, three more last names! We shall not go into that right now, hell, it's no wonder I have been struggling to find myself.

So back to my history. I suppose calling myself Latina or Hispanic would serve it's purposes for whatever fringe benefits might be out there for someone of that background.

Wouldn't it be kind of like someone who is half white, half negro? I mean, seriously, then would that person be black or white? There again, it depends on what that person would be trying to achieve. In reality, if being black affords more than being white, obviously, it would be smarter for someone to say they are black. In another situation, if it's better to be white that day, then white it is.

There is my dilemma. There are many forms that list choices for race, on which I always stop and think. Do I check the box that says
Technically, I am more American Indian than anything else, so do I check the box that says American Indian? It's not like I found my tribe and belong to it, afterall, doing so would really have tremendous benefits if I chose to seek it out. I look white, with the exception of brown hair and the ability to tan in the summer. And the muted freckles (which I hate, by the way). So, what gives? I could use any race selection to whatever extent necessary, but should I?

We shall see what happens. I recently enrolled at a university, and, yes, I checked Hispanic this time. I am not sure what good it will do. Maybe I will get first priority since the Hispanic community seems to be overtaking everything around here.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I don't get it

Let me start by saying I am tired of sugar coating things and have decided it's best if I just tell things like they are from now on.

There's this slutty person (I can't call her a lady because she is hardly that) who thinks she is the total sh*t. Actually, I think she might smell like sh*t, but that's beside the point. What she has is nothing spectacular it's just that she gives it freely; that is why she's in such "demand".

Which brings me to something else... If a piece of a** is literally everywhere, then why would ANY guy trade cigarettes for a blow job?

Ok, so I tend to get sidetracked. Where was I? Oh yeah, stinky, Greek, Ho.
This chick obviously cannot feel the cold wind blowing on her a** crack. It's not just a little crack showing, it's something like five inches. I swear it's big enough to set a soda can in. And, the reason I stare is because I can't help but wonder how long is that crack? I mean, that must be one long a** and there is nothing fancy about it, let me tell you. Her a** makes raw hamburger meat look attractive.

I guess it's just a great big advertisement saying "Hey! I'll suck you off for cigarettes!!" And she swings both ways, which means she will munch some carpet for meth, too.

You see, this is one ugly, nasty biotch. She drives a piece of sh*t car, lives in her mother's piece of sh*t apartment, dresses like a piece of sh*t, and has pieces of sh*t for friends. Come to think of it, that's putting it nicely-an actual piece of sh*t would be pi**ed for putting it in the same category.

Now, I have to go erase my memory and vomit because these thoughts are making me feel like blowing chunks.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's Not Gay

Wikipedia refers to gay (as a term) as "primarily to refer to feelings of being carefree, happy, or bright and showy..." Unless you're referring to homosexuality then the site says gay is "having sexual and romantic attraction primarily or exclusively to members of one’s own sex.."

Simon Thorn of says It's Not Gay If...

1) If it's with a male prostitute - Then it was just a sincere gesture to the transient culture that is looking to reverse their low economic intake.

2) If you only do it to prove that it's totally NOT as much fun as the bathroom wall promised.

3) If it's with Tom Cruise - Then it's just a once in a lifetime opportunity which shouldn't be passed up.

4) It reduces you to tears - Then it was just a heartfelt block of "Me time."

5) If it helps you get another friend for your Facebook account.

6) If his ass is less hairy then your wife's.

7) If at any point.....Oh, who the hell are we kidding? That was truly gay.

Just thought I'd liven up your day. Now stop being so gay!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Goofing Off

With the majority of the children gone for the weekend, I needed to use my time wisely. How often do I get to do whatever I want? I mean, as a mom, I still know how to kick up my heels and go crazy. It's just not as often as I would like.

You see, even if I could, I would probably be too tired anyway. My "job" takes quite a bit out of me, so it's rare that I even desire to punish myself further by staying up way too late and drinking way too much.

I ended up doing a little of everything this time. Not only did I get to leave the house, I actually parked myself near some water (which I can't live without) and pretended nothing else mattered. You see, I don't enjoy fishing for the fish, I enjoy it because I can do nothing and relax. I am odd, but I have to be busy all the time. It's difficult for me to do "nothing". I enjoy seeing how much I can take on.

It's like this: If fish are caught, even better, but it's all about the music in the background, a drink in hand, sun in the sky and water as far as my eyes can see. It's as close as I can get to the beach without the salt and sand. While I refuse to swim in the lake (think things that bite in the water), I can still look at it. There's a calming effect for me. I am forced to zone in on the sounds around me and lose reality. Even if that sound is my husband being obnoxious.

You see, my days have had more than their share of going wild, including some things that are lost in a bottle of Jager (Meister, that is). If anyone knows anything about that, they know it makes people do things that are...well...out of control. What I'm trying to say is, I think I am getting too old for that life. At least I don't walk on the wild side as much as I used to. You just wait until I get a motorcycle. I won't need to bar hop to get a rush.

Besides, I have responsibilities, right? Sure, whatever!

When I got a bit bored staring at the calm water, I began snapping pics. The thing to keep in mind, is my camera sucks balls. I refuse to spend the money on the one I want until I fully learn what I'm doing. I figure, if I can take a good pic with a crappy camera, just think how much better an awesome camera would be.

I prefer non-people subjects, but I will snap a pic of just about anything for the hell of it.

I don't like the time stamp on these nor are my subjects centered the way I want. But here they are. I could critique myself all day long, but I will spare you. Besides, the photos give me the opportunity to goof off with my blog too.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Never again

You took advange of my weakness and my trust, all the while knowing the end result. Not that you really even knew anything about me.

You delighted as I put pen to paper; knowing my conscience was masked by inner demons. I blame you. You think you closed the door permanently.

Revenge is searching for you. It knows who you truly damaged. When it finds you, I hope it brings you to near death and rescusitates you repeatedly. Only then will you understand how others feel in your presence.

Even though I traded you for another set of problems, I applaude you. Thank you for the lesson. Thank you. The door has been re-opened and you will never close it again.

Now go do the world a favor and suffocate yourself. I won't waste my spit on your grave.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Bring on the tunes

If I don't have the radio on, music going on the computer, cd's playing in the car or my iPod stuck in my ear, I am probably dead.

I was raised around varied music and I was even a self-taught band fag once upon a time. Maybe music is in my blood-I have an ear for that plus I can read music. I am even teaching myself how to play the acoustic guitar. Singing not so much!

To say I have one favorite band, song, artist or otherwise would be untrue. There is no way I could narrow down to one with all the broad genres out there. Besides, it probably depends greatly on my mood. I might kick back with Tom Petty or party with Kid Rock.

I have to say, I am slightly disappointed by today's country sound. Most country music teeters on the edge of depressing, and I since I can only tolerate a miniscule percentage of the women performers in that spectrum, my choices are limited. Men (and lesbians perhaps) might enjoy the eye candy but I want something good to listen to, whether or not the girl is half-naked with a banging bod. Then again, it is sex that sells, right? This is not to say I am totally closing the door on country music. I actually like Diamond Rio, Montgomery Gentry, and of course, George Strait (to name a few). George could make a crappy song sound good plus he's been going strong for umpteen years now. And, to think, George doesn't have to be nearly naked to display his sex-appeal.

On a different spectrum, there's Metallica. Maybe it's their killer guitar riffs that relaxes me. I have to say I still have mixed views on their current music even though there are quite a few similarites between the old stuff and the new. At one point in time, Metallica even tried their hand at S&M (orchestral metal), compiling efforts with The San Francisco Symphony. You might have heard "The Ecstasy of Gold", the themesong to "The Good The Bad and The Ugly". Now that's heavy stuff right there.

Very few bands or artists have come back strong after a long hibernation. Anyone else think AC/DC seems to be coming back better than before? I have been wearing out one of their latest tracks, "Rock and Roll Train" and I've never even been a real big fan of AC/DC. About three songs into one of their CD's and I would normally have to hear something else. It's the "if you've heard one you've heard them all" kind of thing. I shall see if that still holds true.

The new and (supposed to be) improved GNR (Guns 'N Roses) is what would happen if Nickleback melted with Disturbed. It sounds slightly like GNR is trying to match some of the new rock sound. I mean, if you can really call the new stuff rock. Where's your soulful sound, Axle?

Speaking of Nickleback, toss in Hinder and it would be tough to differentiate between the two. Both would be better if they didn't sing so much. It's not the voice or the sound, but the lyrics and the non-stop singing that are a bit on the annoying side. Then again, that is how I feel about most of the new rock.

I wouldn't be a typical mom if I didn't shake my head about some of the rap or hip hop, or whatever you want to call it. The sound is good, especially in a club, but it's this type of music that a majority of our youth listens to and imitates. I look back at some of the music I listened to in High School and I think about the way I used to act. Did I really like all of that stuff? Now, if only people would pull their sagging pants up!